Tuesday, January 28, 2014

the art of losing..

Once in a while you come across a few lines that have the power to summarize a fraction of your life. This poem did it for me: One art


The art of losing isn't hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster,

Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.

- Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster. 
Elizabeth Bishop

Before I talk about it, I must mention how I came across it. I had been up to a lot of things lately (one of the reasons I couldn’t resume my blog for a long time) and all this crazy speed of life was stressing me out. So I decided to take a breather and waste some time (not chasing cars !). I was on the lookout for a chick flick to watch when a dear friend suggested “In her shoes”. The movie is subject to opinion but the moment this poem arrived in the movie it took my breath away.

The poem could spell out a different meaning for every reader, with me it resonates word for word. There are a hundred different things I have lost from possessions to relationships, from direction to sanity, from patience to emotions but I have been able to keep my pace forward. My idea of dealing with loss is to dig a hole in the ground with my paws, bury my loss in it, cover it with mud, run over it, and then never look back again. “One art” opened a new door in my mind. Not that I have discovered a new approach to dealing with loss but rediscovered it as an art. My personal flavor of art that I have mastered quite easily. The art that has played a huge part in shaping my personality and from which I derive the strength to move forward with dignity despite the pain that tags along with a loss. After all, a loss is only possible after a gain. So instead of brooding over a loss I prefer chasing the rainbow for the next pot of gold. For me, it is much easier to switch off my feelings and make way for new accomplishments than to waste time crying over spilled milk.

The sad but beautiful ending of “One art” echoes with how we sometimes have to literally push ourselves out of our moment of despair (write it !) because no matter how strong we are we can’t escape our moments of weakness. But we still do, because we have mastered the art of not just losing but coming to terms with our loss and moving on. The connection I feel to this poem is beyond what words can explain, and yet here I am, writing about it !